Equal Rights

Warning: this is coming from a woman with extreme late night cravings!

There are some things that automatically remind me of childhood -- hot pavement on bare feet, the smell of sunscreen and a wet bathing suit, and the gooey, sugary goodness of Laffy Taffy, the delightfully soft taffy bars that come equipped with jokes for hours of entertainment, on a hot summer's day.

But as of recently these childhood memories have come into question. Many times I've bought the large bags of candy containing Laffy Taffy in bite size. Each time I'm hoping for the nostalgic and familiar taste of my childhood but instead find something bland and devoid of the tangy flavor I remember. 

Many enjoy the flavor-lacking taste of mini taffies. I get it, they're individually wrapped packages are convenient. Multiple flavors can be consumed in one sitting, and you get twice as many cheesy jokes. But I believe in equal opportunity for all candy. Regular sized Laffy Taffy deserves to have the same frequency of self space. 

I've had to search long and hard to find these wonderful full-size treats. All I'm asking for equal treatment. My childhood memories will thank you. So stores near me, please bring on the Sparkle Jerry Cherry, Wally Watermelon, Jazzberry Blue Raspberry, and Sammy Strawberry. I will be forever grateful. 

Friends reference insert: Phoebe's first experience with taffy (albeit it's salt water taffy). Enjoy :)

The One with the Birthing Video (Season 8, episode 15)

Scene: Central Perk. Ross and Phoebe are sitting on the couch.

Phoebe: How could you not tell Mona that Rachel is living with you?

Ross: I don’t know, she seemed to think it was such a crazy idea! Um, plus, she, uh, she got me taffy!

Phoebe: Taffy, really? I’ve never had any.

Ross: Ever?!

Phoebe: Well, I think my mother was too busy planning her suicide to provide saltwater treats. (Ross hands her one) Thank you! So what, you’re just never going to tell her?

Ross: Oh, no, no, no, I will! I just want to butter her up, first! You know, I’m going to take her to an amazing Valentine’s dinner. Do all this romantic stuff, and then, just when she thinks I’m the best boyfriend in the world, then I’m going to tell her that my pregnant ex-girlfriend is living with me.

Phoebe: If I haven’t said it before: she’s a lucky, lucky lady! So, where are you going to—what the mother of crap is up with this stuff? (Referring to the taffy, which she’s been chewing this whole time.) Oh, God. Is it gum, is it food? What’s the deal? (she swallows it, finally) Oh, it’s nice! May I try a pink one?